The Blog Formerly Known as An Orange County Sitcom

Ta da!

Here's what you've all been waiting for:

My name is Allison

Scorpions and Mountain Lions

I just found out about those.  Please add them to your copy of the field guide.

GWH actually brought me one of them, deceased, in a baggie.  Can you guess if it's the scorpion or the mountain lion?

Shakespeare Hates Your Emo Poems

Thing 1 got a new t-shirt:

And I wrote haiku in honor of it:

Emo kids take note
Shakespeare hates your poetry
Try haiku instead

OK, after I wrote this I realized it might be misunderstood.  Haiku IS poetry, so to say try haiku “instead” might be read that it’s instead of poetry – which doesn’t make sense.  What I mean is try haiku instead of angst-ridden poems such as this one by Walter Landor:

“Why do our joys depart
For cares to seize the heart?
I know not.  Nature says
Obey and man obeys.
I see and know not why
Thorns live and roses die.”

And that’s the only thing I remember from 12th grade AP English Lit.

No offense intended to any emo readers of my blog.  I am a former emo – I was emo before anybody knew what emo was – so I totally understand and I am there for you, KWIM?

And the magic number is 80

Thing 1 just yelled down that it's 80 degrees upstairs - may she turn on the air conditioner?  Yep, we're pansies. The AC comes on at the OC Family home any time the temp reaches 80. 

And speaking of...Remember growing up without programmable thermostats?  At night in the winter, our thermostat was set on 55, and whoever woke up first would run downstairs and crank it all the way up to 65!  That was sometimes me...so then I'd run back upstairs and hop into the warm bed again for a few minutes before heading for the shower. By this time the house would be about 57 degrees.

In the summer we didn't have that problem with the thermostat, because I don't think we ran the air conditioning, ever.  Did our house even have air conditioning?

I also had to walk to school in the snow, barefoot, uphill both ways.  And we LIKED it that way.

Too much information

I was in the checkout line yesterday at the grocery store.  As the cashier was ringing up the woman in front of me, he started talking (loudly) to the assistant manager working the register across from him.
Cashier: "Hey, Melissa, I'm due for a break."
Melissa: "OK"
Cashier: "Can I have mine next?"
Melissa: "Sure"
Cashier: " Because I have to go to the bathroom really bad."
Me: "Ewww..."

I hope that Melissa used that as an opportunity to add a point to the cashier training manual:  "Don't discuss bodily functions in front of customers."  The funny part is that she had already agreed to give him his break next - no further entreaties were necessary on his part!

I don't have time to blog today, so

I'm just linking to a thoughtful post at Mama Bear's blog about Why Not to Blog.  I was struck by some things she said, such as staying up late to blog after her family was in bed.  I did that at first!  Clearly I've gotten over my compulsion.

My New Year's resolutions

Apparently, I've made a New Year's resolution not to blog.

Not really...but it seems like it, doesn't it?  But I have been busy with my other resolutions...pathetic attempts to work out, spend less time on the computer, keep the house neat, do more hands-on helping of the kidlets with their schoolwork.

So if you're in the neighborhood, come on over and check out my neat house.  Come over UNANNOUNCED!  Oh, but if you're staying the night I need a day or two of notice...the guest room/craft room has not yet been included in the general neatening plan.  {embarrassed}

I'm lazy

OK, well not exactly lazy, maybe.  I mean, it can get a little tiring always being clever and witty – having to be “on” all the time for my adoring public. 

So in the interest of just getting back in the blog saddle, so-to-speak, after a 2-week period during which I recovered from my, umm, exhaustion, I’m going to take the easy way out and simply post some of my best recipes over the next few days.  If I think of anything clever or witty along the way, I’ll be sure to toss that in, too.  Don’t be hesitant to try any of these - they really are my honest-to-goodness favorite tried & true foolproof etc. etc. holiday recipes. 

I started yesterday with Joe’s Candy Cane Brownies.  If you’ve recovered from the insulin shock, you can move on to Shrimp Butter.  This is one of those totally easy yet decadent recipes that you can whip up when, say, your hubby’s boss is coming over next week.  It’s perfect party food when served with stone-ground wheat crackers, triscuits, or that cute rye party bread.  You probably won’t have any left over, but if you do (was it a small party?) then smear the rest on your bagel the next morning.  Maybe sprinkle some capers or green onion on top.

My mom always made this by crushing the shrimp with a fork and then stirring.  Yikes.   I tried this once and had huge chunks of un-mixed cream cheese when I served it.  I guess I’m not as patient as Mom.  But I’m so glad I live in the 21st century.  With a food processor you can have this ready in about 10 minutes, and no un-mixed chunks (but remember, make it the day before, or at least the morning before, you want to serve it).

Shrimp Butter
Ingredients:
2  (4 1/4   ounce) cans   shrimp (small or medium)
3/4   cup butter, softened
1    (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
2   tablespoons onions (minced)
1   lemon
4   tablespoons mayonnaise

Directions:

  1. Place butter and cream cheese in large work bowl of food processor and pulse briefly to mix.
  2. Juice the lemon.
  3. Add shrimp, lemon juice, onion, and mayonnaise to work bowl and pulse until shrimp is chopped and everything is mixed well.
  4. Add salt & pepper to taste.
  5. Best if made the day before and refrigerated overnight. Good with stone-ground wheat crackers or the small round party rye bread.

Ode to a quail

They seek him here
They seek him there
Those hunters seek him everywhere

Is he in the mountain?
Is he in the vale?
That d____ elusive mountain quail

Anybody know what this is adapted from?  You will receive honor and recognition if you get it right. :)

"This is your life

...are you who you want to be?" - Switchfoot

"Wanting something doesn't make it so." - GWH

"The trick is to find out (who) you are, and be that." - Robin Williams

"I do not understand what I do.  For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." - the apostle Paul.